bird obituary

Johnny A. Sparrow died today at only 1 year old. He is survived by three siblings and preceded in death by both his parents who ironically met the same fate as he did. He was killed this morning in a tragic accident involving a dare between him and his friends. They were overheard planning to cross the road at inconvenient times to see who would be brave enough to actually do it. Star Ling spotted a green mustang coming at full speed and volunteered to be the first to go. He made it across but aimed too high and they all decided it didn't count. Next was Fez Zant who barely made it off the grass before the mustang slowed and swerved away making him run away. At that point the show off Maggie Pie showed up and darted out in front of the mustang nearly losing a wing in the process. Not to be shown up Johnny, his three little sisters following behind trying to stop him, went immediately in front of the mustang but he went too low and ended up under the green beast only to be tossed violently against the cement. Dr. Q. A. Lee tried to revive him but was nearly attacked himself and soon gave up. The small gathering of crows that witnessed the event tried to spread the rumor that it was an attempted mass suicide...some believe crows not to be crossed in matters pertaining to death.

His three sisters and friends swore at the funeral that they had learned their lesson and would not run out in front of that horrible mean green mustang ever again. They were soon drowned out by the cackling of crows who have heard this sort of thing before. When it was obvious the crows would not be stopped, the roadside gathering (for nobody was brave enough to go collect poor Johnny) soon dispersed in a slightly annoyed but tearful farewell leaving only a handful of squirrels who have lost more to such a fate and thus have a little more respect for the lost.

L.