goodnight another bad morning

it's a strange thing to envy other people's dreams. i remember being 12 years old, hanging out with my friends and listening as they reported their recent dreams...kissing boys, going shopping, laying on the beach in some tropical wonderland. i kept my mouth shut. i usually don't like to report what goes on in my head when i finally drift off to sleep. there's no reason for people to think i'm crazier than i they already suspect i might be right? well, it's time to give a brief glimpse into where my mind goes when i sleep. for the last few weeks i've been plagued by a wrestling match between my insomnia and my nightmares. the nightmares are winning.

nightmare #10,953

i find myself house sitting for my grandma in my hometown. this two bedroom house is given an immense dark and cluttered attic in this nightmare. two small children have been left in my care, a girl and a boy. the spare bedroom door is opened by one of them and i look in to see a bed stripped of its sheets. one side of it is covered in blood as is the carpet near the door. i realize in my dream that this room has yet to be cleaned up after the death of a woman. (i say "a woman" because it became different people throughout my dream and i'd rather not name names. it's disturbing enough as it is without telling you who it was). it becomes my constant concern that the door remain closed at all times and i frantically try to think of ways to get it cleaned up before my grandma and rest of my family comes home and is reminded of the death that occurred in that bedroom. the two mischievous children refuse to leave the door alone no matter what i do...i'm continually shutting the door to the bloody mess over and over again. it's not just the blood that bothers me but the death was just as upsetting to me as to the rest of the family and yet i'm the one there trying to hide it. i decide to make the children take a nap but they have none of it no matter how hard i try. they run up to the attic and get into all the old things that are laying around. soon my family gets there and i'm still doing the same thing before i wake from the nightmare...i keep shutting the door over and over to hide the blood.

so there you have it, one of many nightmares i've had in the last few days. that same night i had one about a woman murdered by two men in a bank and then being held hostage by those men...but we won't go there. last night i dreamt about running through a field as bombs fell all around me from a hazy sky...we won't go there either. you might see why my usual retort to someone saying "sweet dreams" is "i wish".

...R...

Goodnight Another Bad Morning - The Kills

octomom

yesterday i watched Life on the discovery channel. apparently a male octopus dies a few months after mating and the female octopus won't leave her den after laying her eggs. she will sometimes eat her own arms but never leaves to go hunt for food. then as soon as the eggs hatch she is genetically programed to die, that is if she makes it that far because as soon as she leaves her den she will probably be attacked and eaten by something else since she is too weak to fight them off. i guess the parentless baby octopi (pretending to know what the plural is here) just float around for awhile hoping not to be eaten until they are big enough to go down into the depths and do it all again. also, when they hatch they look like aliens. the ocean is a scary place, i'm glad i'm not a mother there.

L.

on the move

the internet hates me, it only works when i don't really have much time to use it. this morning i got up early to go somewhere and it was working, then i ended up not going and sat down thinking well i might as well take advantage of the internet working and my extra time. but guess what. as soon as i had time it decided not to work. of course. now its working for the moment. we'll see if it works long enough for me to finish this blog...so here is a quick update on my week: case of the mondays running through my head as usual monday morning, how long can this cold last really and can't someone make a cold medicine that works the way tylenol used to with pseudoephedrine, people who outsource customer service to india pretty much have given up on that part of their company and are basically saying that as a customer i am not only on my own but good luck getting ahold of someone in another country that barely speaks english and will not be able to help me at all, finally saturday, alice in wonderland, SO good, walk into macy's to hear my favorite singers on the speakers and stood in happy shock in the middle of the store, now sunday, movies on the couch and discovery channel. i hate daylight savings. i hope i don't lose this now because i can't stand doing things twice.

no, those aren't palm trees...i'm not sure what they are or what possessed our neighbors to create them. but i wouldn't say its a bad idea to make it look a little more tropical around here, maybe it will inspire the weather to cooperate.

we have very environmentally conscious dogs. in an effort to clean up the neighborhood they travel around picking up our neighbors garbage and deposit it in our yard, as close to the garbage can as they can make it without thumbs and a little more height.
as a distraction to driving i started taking pictures with my phone on my way home, safer than texting i think...at least i was looking up...so here are a few pictures on the move.

L.

i think i'll go for a walk outside now

...R...

Sabotage

me: sure sure, i don't mind dropping this ring off to be appraised.

her: thank you! here's the address. it's the Gemological Institute.

me: should be easy. i'll just drop it off and pick it back up for you when its done.

her: you're the best!

me: sigh, i know...

cut to me driving up to the GIA gate in my little white Yaris blasting The Beastie Boys. o look, a security gate! well it only makes sense considering there are probably a lot of diamonds in this facility. the guard comes over and asks the reason for my presence and i tell him i would like to have a ring appraised. he takes my I.D. (that's one) and has me pull over to wait as he goes back into his booth to make sure i'm not a criminal or simply to make fun of my DMV picture. as if anyone looks good in those...anyway he brings me my parking pass and directs me to visitor parking, instructs me to go into the main lobby to the receptionist and let them know i need to visit "the lab". now i'm getting a little nervous. before i pull away he informs me one of my rear lights isn't working. meticulous aren't they? i pull into a designated visitor spot and walk up the pristine path to the lobby. there are so many shiny things i feel like a distracted two year old as i walk to reception. again i tell them i'm here to have a ring appraised. the security guard asks for my ID (that's two) and after checking it, has me look into a camera for my picture to be taken. out comes a stick-on badge with my picture, name, the date and time on it. i apply it to my members only jacket and wait for my security escort to "the lab". after about five minutes nobody has come so the desk security guy offers to walk me there. i try small talk "this place is gorgeous!" he says nothing. okay. another security officer meets us in the hallway and i get the handoff. the new security guard asks if i need to use the restroom first and i start to sweat a little bit. where exactly is he taking me and do i at least get a phone call? we walk outside and toward another building. my escort tells me they will need to see my ID at the booth before entering the new building. i walk into a small holding area where another security officer sits behind what i assume is bulletproof glass. he asks to see my ID (that's three) and has me sign in as a visitor, open my purse for inspection, and hands me another visitor tag to put on my members only jacket. i feel like my pieces of flair could land me a great job at TGIF at this point. i'm allowed to walk alone to another lobby where i'm told to wait. after waiting for another ten minutes or so a woman finally tells me i can enter door B (there are three doors labeled A, B and C). but i don't want door B! i want to choose door C!!! at this point i know better than to argue so in i go. i find myself in a tiny closet with more bulletproof glass and a small counter. she shows up on the other side to finally hear what it is i'm there for. i smile and tell her i'm here to have my sister's ring appraised and i pull it out of my purse for her to see. she kindly informs me that they don't do appraisals in settings. i would have to bring the diamond in loose for them to register and appraise. she writes down a phone number for my sister to call to find a place to take the ring to be appraised in its setting. i'm allowed to go back the way i came in without a security escort at any point which surprises me.

as i drive away, i just wonder why they don't ask a few more questions at the first or even second security checkpoint. questions such as "are you bringing a loose stone to be appraised because if not you are going to waste a lot of people's time and we really don't want to be bothered with your puny little diamond ring... cant you see what an important place this is?!" instead i just blast a little more Beastie Boys for the gate security guard as i'm sure he could use a little excitement......

Listen All Of Y'all This Is Sabotage
Listen All of Y'all This Is Sabotage

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
I'ma Set It Straight This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In This Place
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I'm Buddy Rich When I Fly OffmThe Handle
What Could It Be, It's all a Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing That's Sabotage

...R...