letter to one landlord in particular

So you've decided to move someone else into our house and give us not enough notice and not even written. fine, i'll find somewhere else to move in a place where their seems to be no good rentals in our price range. I'll stress about it for over a month, packing on my weekends and obsessively checking the listings hoping that maybe this time their will be that perfect place. When it comes down too it, i'll settle for a place out of our price range in an area that i don't really want to live who's owners standard for "clean and ready to move into" are quite a bit lower than mine. When miracle of miracles they have another place that is really nice and in the country and i get actually a little excited about moving i'll start packing the essentials and nervously wait for these people who are obviously not good landlords to finally answer their phones to give us the key. I'll rent a uhaul, buy uhaul boxes, and pack up half my house including my entire kitchen food and all and load it into said uhaul ready to move to the new (dirty and out of our price range, but nice) house.

so, really? really you wait until half of my house is in a uhaul in the parking lot to call and say "oh by the way that deal fell through and you can stay if you want"? can i just tell you how much i hate you right now. You say you "realized your mistake but just didn't think to tell us because you were so busy", well that is b.s., and if it wasn't for the fact that i needed that money that we would be spending on this house to get myself out of this town i would not even give it half a thought and i'd be cleaning that dirty house right now to move into. Congratulations you are officially my least favorite person, and if i kept a list of people to get revenge on sometime in my life, you would be moving straight to the top.

P.S. i've had a cat inside for about two months now and as well behaved as he is i hope when i finally do move out you find "little presents" from him all over the place down stairs in corners that i have no intention of cleaning.

L.

house hunting (a letter to landlords)

Dear Landlords,

Why do you go through all the trouble of fencing in your "huge", and "beautiful" backyards if you don't allow pets in to enjoy them. I mean, what exactly are you trying to keep in if not a future renters dog? Do you think that maybe the renters will start running willy nilly through the neighborhood crapping in other people's yards and digging up other peoples prized flower beds? Are you afraid that the renters will go insane once forced to live in yet another overpriced house they don't own and might just start chasing cars and unfortunate mailmen who happen to get too close to their unfenced yard? I don't quite understand your reasoning here since if they had gone that crazy, you would most likely have more to worry about inside your property than outside. Maybe you think that if you don't provide them with a barrier they might start wandering aimlessly through the neighborhood, looking in windows and begging at back doors. The rent you seem to expect for your tiny house actually makes this the most likely reasoning...you are aware of the pay rates of the area you live in right?

Some of you have houses out in the country, in the middle of nowhere to be exact, and still refuse to allow pets. Let me be the first to be honest with you about your rental house. Its ancient. Its in the middle of a field. Its probably been owned by ten other people who allowed pets before you got it and put your precious (cheapest carpet available) in and refused any more pets to set a paw inside and then outside too just to be sure. You charge way more than the overpriced places in town because places in the country are hard to find, but people who live in the country want to have pets. People with pets are willing to pay a pet deposit to take care of your cheap carpet when they leave if anything happens to it and since their are no neighbors, and most likely you have a fenced yard (see above) there isn't much outside they could get into.

Now dear landlords, look around your own house. Do you have a fence? With pets in them? Do you think its impossible for anyone else to have a pet such as your own that will live happily inside that fence without causing so much damage that no one would ever want to live their again? i don't think so. maybe you should meet the pets before assuming they are terrors that can only cause utter destruction...too much to ask? fine charge a pet fee, thats what people do when they allow pets and guess what they still have a house and a yard afterwards along with however much they ask for to repair any damage the pet might do...so unless the pet has thumbs and can start a fire...i think your good.

-sincerely

the girl that is sick of seeing your stupid ads and doesn't want to rent from a control freak like you anyway.

L.